Witty Bean

Academics and academic success. Oh boy, these bring back some weird memories. Of aunties with braided hair fussing outside Exam halls. Commercials on TV where the mom pours out Bournvita with a semi manic gleam in her eyes; her child working away into the night. Rote learning, rulers slapping little palms and the Rank systems at school. “Tune kya answer likha?” “Yaar iss baar na, pakka fail.” “Mumma, can you please not show Papa my report card,”. Growing up in the 80s and 90s, I’ve seen the worst of what academic expectations can do to a young child. My mom never pressurized me to study. At least not overtly. She made the occasional, “look how well XYZ is scoring, maybe you can do that too” comment, but nothing worse than that. But I remember friends who couldn’t eat until they had done their homework perfectly. A classmate who’s mom dropped in during lunch every day (EVERY DAY!) to quiz him on Geography/Science. Class toppers announcing snottily that they probably got one answer w

TEARS . I’m glad for them. Tears means there is love. Your daughter’s tears when she doesn’t get one more story before bedtime. Your son’s voluminous eyes glinting because he heard about your overnight trip. Love for companionship, love for family, love for doing something meaningful/meaningless with people you care about. ANGER . When your husband snaps at you because you’re scrolling on your phone instead of snuggling with him in bed. The exasperation that comes from missed conversations and tired parenting. Irritation with a friend who keeps canceling, your child annoying you with a 30 minute “joke”. Acknowledge this anger fully and appreciate what it symbolizes. It keeps you on your toes and reminds you about the important bits of your life. The parts that are worth getting worked up about. The people who will always hold your heart in their hands. I’m thankful for UNKINDNESS . Unkindness reminds you to inspect how you interact with people. A rude comment, a mean act - these