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Showing posts from 2017

Hate the struggles, don't hate Autism.

Its 7 pm. Your child is yelling his head off because he does not want to hop in his bath. Tears are running down his face leaving clear trails in all the grime. Bribes have been offered. Voices raised in despair.  Visual schedules and timers have failed to move him. He does not want to have a bath and that is it. You're exhausted and stunned by the intensity of his tantrum. Unfortunately you cannot budge and you cannot give in because you're scared that it will set a precedent : Mom's a pushover.  But you also know that this tired little boy is soon approaching meltdown junction, where all bets are off and nobody wins. You take deep breaths and tell yourself its not about you right now! How do you help him navigate this ? He loves bath time. He loves water. He'd practically stay at the pool if you'd let him. So why is it suddenly so hard for him?  Why does this bright boy who can do math in his head and talk at length about how to build an airplane struggle wi

The best type of kindness

We're all mostly decent human beings. Sure, we have our own belief systems and our preferences, but at the end of the day, none of us is kicking puppies for funsies. We have our special moral compass of right and wrong and we like to think that we want to be kind and good to each other. Every religion talks about kindness. Be kind to your neighbor or be kind to someone less fortunate.Do no harm and so on.But what is kindness? For almost all of us, being kind involves doing good deeds and making an effort for someone else. It also means we choose not to be inconsiderate and cruel. And most of us, by that definition, are champions of kindness. We feel good and noble and pat ourselves on the back for a job well done. "Look how awesome I am, I passed on some great advice about parenting to that young mom", or "I'm proud of how I treated that homeless guy - I gave him a dollar AND a smile" But often this kindness goes unrewarded. We think we're doing