Skip to main content

Captain SuperPants


A weekday morning conversation between husband and me

Raghav: Hey, have you seen my phone?
Me: No, not really. Did you check the nightstand? Your desk?
R: Not there.
Me: Really? Ok,let me call you?
R: It’s on silent mode.
Me: 😒😒😒
R: You know what, try calling. Maybe it’ll vibrate and knock something over.

A pause.

Me: The magic in our marriage never ends, does it?
R: Oh just call me, already.

Five minutes of absolute silence later.

R: The battery must have died.
Me: How about you use the “Find my iPhone” feature?
R: I already did. Last known location is our House.
Me: Ok, let’s think about this. Where did you last see it?
R: *Clapping slowly* If I remembered that, wouldn’t I go looking there myself?
Me: Whoa, lots of sarcasm from someone who lost his workout pants last week! How does someone lose his pants?!!
R: *itwasatthegymshuddup*
Me: What was that? A little louder?
R: Pants were at the Gym. Good thing I had an extra pair, huh?
Me: Ok firstly, your pants were in the Lost and Found bin at the Gym. The gym employees and I had a good ten-minute laugh about it. Secondly, tell me all the places you looked. The phone has got to be here somewhere.
R: *counting on fingers*. Checked the gym bag, the Nightstand and my Car. Not there. Did a clean sweep of the Desk. Phone’s vanished.

A little bulb clicked in my head. I wondered why I hadn’t thought of it sooner.
Now I don’t know about your husbands, but mine is blessed with a superpower. He can’t fly or turn invisible or something lame like that.
No, his superpower is far more useful.
If he insists that a missing object isn’t in a particular place and he’s “sure” because “God, I already looked a million times there, Pavi”, then you can stop searching.
Because, that missing item will be in that exact same place.
Honestly, it’s magical. Exasperating but magical.

So ignoring the nightstand and the gym bag, I walked over to his desk. Took me less than 10 seconds to find the iPhone hiding under a file folder. It grinned devilishly at me, so I jabbed it into the charging dock with a little more force than necessary.
R: So on the desk, huh?
Me: Yup.
R: Well. Hmmm. Right. I’m off to the gym. Love ya!
And with a sheepish grin on his face, my Superhero Husband drove off; his gym bag bulging under the weight of the 3 extra pairs of pants I put in.




Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Girls and Boys and all that noise!

In a curious case of reverse gender inequality, someone asked this question recently. Why is it considered acceptable to say “we want a baby girl”, or even “gender doesn’t matter”. If one wants a baby boy, is it still taboo to express that?

Valentine's day

We've been married almost 13 years. We're not the limber, young newlyweds - ready to drop everything to run away on a weekend together. We've aged, we've changed and we've learned so much about ourselves and each other. We've had 2 kids together, changed endless diapers, laughed together at baby toes and toots, bought a house, gotten our siblings successfully married (to each other!) and held down good jobs. We've seen euphoric highs, and we've shared some crushing lows which only made us grow more fiercely protective of each other.  I used to be impulsive, willful and headstrong. Thought I knew better. Thought I was this larger than life person with intense emotions and eyes full of stars. You know what my husband changed about that? Nothing! He still believes all those wonderful things about me and still looks at me like I'm the most exquisite woman he's ever laid eyes on. He celebrates my passions and holds me safe when life deals me a few b...

Silver Lining

Pramila was going to be late for Art Class. Second time this week, and no one to blame but herself. Well…. and Raj. Mmm Raj!   With an impish smile, she adjusted her Kurta and locked the door behind her. Oh wait! Her paint brushes?!! She would look like a proper fool if she showed up tardy AND without her tools. Slipping back into her room, she looked around frantically for the supplies. Not on the sofa (Hey, Pramila), not under the table (Pramila, listen) and unsurprisingly, not in her Art Corner (I think I’m falling for you, Pramila). Where were the damn brushes?!! On a sudden whim, she peeked into the bedroom. A cozy bed blinked merrily back at her. The sheets were in absolute disarray (whose fault is that, now?) and two pillows peeked from under the thick quilt. (Prami, will you marry me?) (Shut up, Raj, you cannot be serious!) (I’m as serious as a heart attack, darling). Raj’s aftershave lingered in her bedroom - heady and tantalizing. A mental ...