Skip to main content

Captain SuperPants


A weekday morning conversation between husband and me

Raghav: Hey, have you seen my phone?
Me: No, not really. Did you check the nightstand? Your desk?
R: Not there.
Me: Really? Ok,let me call you?
R: It’s on silent mode.
Me: ðŸ˜’😒😒
R: You know what, try calling. Maybe it’ll vibrate and knock something over.

A pause.

Me: The magic in our marriage never ends, does it?
R: Oh just call me, already.

Five minutes of absolute silence later.

R: The battery must have died.
Me: How about you use the “Find my iPhone” feature?
R: I already did. Last known location is our House.
Me: Ok, let’s think about this. Where did you last see it?
R: *Clapping slowly* If I remembered that, wouldn’t I go looking there myself?
Me: Whoa, lots of sarcasm from someone who lost his workout pants last week! How does someone lose his pants?!!
R: *itwasatthegymshuddup*
Me: What was that? A little louder?
R: Pants were at the Gym. Good thing I had an extra pair, huh?
Me: Ok firstly, your pants were in the Lost and Found bin at the Gym. The gym employees and I had a good ten-minute laugh about it. Secondly, tell me all the places you looked. The phone has got to be here somewhere.
R: *counting on fingers*. Checked the gym bag, the Nightstand and my Car. Not there. Did a clean sweep of the Desk. Phone’s vanished.

A little bulb clicked in my head. I wondered why I hadn’t thought of it sooner.
Now I don’t know about your husbands, but mine is blessed with a superpower. He can’t fly or turn invisible or something lame like that.
No, his superpower is far more useful.
If he insists that a missing object isn’t in a particular place and he’s “sure” because “God, I already looked a million times there, Pavi”, then you can stop searching.
Because, that missing item will be in that exact same place.
Honestly, it’s magical. Exasperating but magical.

So ignoring the nightstand and the gym bag, I walked over to his desk. Took me less than 10 seconds to find the iPhone hiding under a file folder. It grinned devilishly at me, so I jabbed it into the charging dock with a little more force than necessary.
R: So on the desk, huh?
Me: Yup.
R: Well. Hmmm. Right. I’m off to the gym. Love ya!
And with a sheepish grin on his face, my Superhero Husband drove off; his gym bag bulging under the weight of the 3 extra pairs of pants I put in.


Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Pocket of happiness.

This past week, our house underwent some fumigation and so we spent 8ish days at our in-laws’  cottage in Monterey, California. For those unfamiliar with that part of the world, Monterey and its surrounding towns are right next to the Pacific Ocean. Miles of beautiful, unspoiled beaches, not too touristy and of course the world-famous Monterey Bay Aquarium. The weather is never too hot; the beaches are set against a backdrop of lush hills and the sand is always perfect. My idea of heaven on earth. The kids had lots of fun, but because of a sudden increase in downtime (no school) they started having bouts of “I’m so bored/I love the Ocean/I hate the Ocean/I’m angry for no reason”. Typical younger child behavior and something I’d expected would happen. They both thrive on structure, so we tried to keep things as streamlined and predictable as possible.   Of course, my Zen, earth-mother mood didn’t last too long. Between the cooking and cleaning...
Post a Comment
Read more

Soul sister.

It’s past midnight. You’re in bed with your thoughts.   Limbs achy and heart heavy with worries.   Of course, you feel that way, you’re a mother.   You wish you had someone to talk to. Someone to breathe in sync with. Someone who’ll nod at the right places and tell you, you’re doing your best. Your husband is snoring away, the kids are sleeping and no one awake for miles around. You contemplate calling your mother/sister/bestie. But you don’t. You just lie there in bed, feeling small and lonely and not sure why everything hurts so damn much. But you’re actually forgetting someone who has been there all along. She’s watching, listening, making sure you’re still breathing. She loves you more than anyone else, even though she never tells you that. She’s your staunchest ally but can also feel like your worst enemy.   Talk to her. Tell her you’re scared. Show her you’re hurt. She’ll hug you. Maybe yell at you a bit. Even completely distract you and talk about Ra...
Post a Comment
Read more

20 perfect kernels of popcorn.

Button has always been a picky eater. No.... scratch that. How about super-sensitive-and-guaranteed-to-refuse-any-new-foods. That's a much better description. It's not just an autism thing. Part of it is probably the sensory defensiveness that comes under the autism umbrella and part of is it anxiety about new tastes and textures. I mean - this kid hasn't eaten candy in his entire life!! Could care less about ice cream or pizza! I know, I know - he sounds like an ideal 6 year old who only eats healthy stuff, but man, this is way worse than that. He accepts 6 foods and that's the 6 food choices he's been sticking to for the past 4 years. Its a constant cycle of dosa-pasta-rice-pretzels-chips-fries. So no....not healthy by any means. And his dislike of non preferred foods is so strong, that he will actually gag at us eating a meal. Its that bad! Eating at restaurants means taking his meal along with us and he's that one kid at the party that's eating his ...
1 comment
Read more