Skip to main content

Groucho Marx




Today I'm feeling like lists, so here goes.
Things that really annoy me :
  • People who brag about how little sleep they got - we get it! Coworkers, cashiers, random people you run into. Somehow this is meant to convey a sense of superpower : "I slept for just 2 hours and look how functional I am". Well, I got news for you! I see all the surreptitious yawns you think you're hiding and I've seen corpses look fresher, so here's your damn medal. Now shut up about sleep!
  • Not-so-obvious racists : See these jerks are worse than overt racists because you can never spot them coming. You're standing in line at the grocery checkout, and you get this weird vibe coming off Cashier Susan who's quick to smile and greet every white customer. But when it's my turn, Cashier Susan will grunt a non committal sound, lose the chirpy eye contact and rush through the process, before smiling widely at the blonde lady next in line. I've seen Cashier Susan for a few years at my local Supermarket, and I've tried to excuse her behavior, but you can only get snubbed so many times, before you give up in the face of subtle racism.
  • Teenagers who whisper and giggle (and point): God, were we this obnoxious as teenagers? I get that everything is superficial in today's world where Instagram queens are crowned and dethroned everyday and boys are only as cool as their next Snap, but do teenagers really have to be so obvious with their eye rolling? At my favorite bubble tea place, these teens were giggling and whispering, all because an older woman at the counter was trying hard to figure out what toppings she wanted in her milk tea and was obviously mispronouncing everything. Every time she said "boboa" wrong, out came the muffled snickering and the eye rolling. I was glaring away at them, but they were so caught up in their teenage-perfection bubble that they probably didn't even register the random Indian lady giving them the stink eye. I almost said "Now look here young lady" a few times, but then my nerves got the better of me and I shut up.
  • People who cut in line- Hoo boy, this is one of my top peeves. Your fancy sports car does not give you a free pass to whiz into my lane without warning. Because guess what - I'm carrying my little kid in my car and I most definitely DO NOT want to brake suddenly just because your entitled ass couldn't be bothered to turn on the blinkers. 
  • Busybodies - You know the type. They always a quip to offer or advice to give. They're loud, persistent and never helpful. They're the ones who mumble "if that was my child". These nosy parkers are best ignored.  But if you're feeling up to it, put your coffee down, secure your kid and unleash your inner demon. Politeness doesn't always work with them, so feel free to gnaw on their bones, once you're done devouring them. 
  • Weirdly combative people - they love to argue about everything, even if you were only really paying them a compliment. I remember a teacher from my kid's school who is like this. When I share an achievement he's managed to do at home, she retorts "Oh but he never does that at school" Or this nurse from (when I used to) work, who would always bicker about why her meat options were always better than my "rabbit food"( she was obviously so invested in my health).
Deep breath. In and out. In and out. 
And just so that I don't come across as a total grouch, tomorrow I'll be posting about the types of people that make my heart smile and cheer for humanity.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Pocket of happiness.

This past week, our house underwent some fumigation and so we spent 8ish days at our in-laws’  cottage in Monterey, California. For those unfamiliar with that part of the world, Monterey and its surrounding towns are right next to the Pacific Ocean. Miles of beautiful, unspoiled beaches, not too touristy and of course the world-famous Monterey Bay Aquarium. The weather is never too hot; the beaches are set against a backdrop of lush hills and the sand is always perfect. My idea of heaven on earth. The kids had lots of fun, but because of a sudden increase in downtime (no school) they started having bouts of “I’m so bored/I love the Ocean/I hate the Ocean/I’m angry for no reason”. Typical younger child behavior and something I’d expected would happen. They both thrive on structure, so we tried to keep things as streamlined and predictable as possible.   Of course, my Zen, earth-mother mood didn’t last too long. Between the cooking and cleaning...
Post a Comment
Read more

Soul sister.

It’s past midnight. You’re in bed with your thoughts.   Limbs achy and heart heavy with worries.   Of course, you feel that way, you’re a mother.   You wish you had someone to talk to. Someone to breathe in sync with. Someone who’ll nod at the right places and tell you, you’re doing your best. Your husband is snoring away, the kids are sleeping and no one awake for miles around. You contemplate calling your mother/sister/bestie. But you don’t. You just lie there in bed, feeling small and lonely and not sure why everything hurts so damn much. But you’re actually forgetting someone who has been there all along. She’s watching, listening, making sure you’re still breathing. She loves you more than anyone else, even though she never tells you that. She’s your staunchest ally but can also feel like your worst enemy.   Talk to her. Tell her you’re scared. Show her you’re hurt. She’ll hug you. Maybe yell at you a bit. Even completely distract you and talk about Ra...
Post a Comment
Read more

20 perfect kernels of popcorn.

Button has always been a picky eater. No.... scratch that. How about super-sensitive-and-guaranteed-to-refuse-any-new-foods. That's a much better description. It's not just an autism thing. Part of it is probably the sensory defensiveness that comes under the autism umbrella and part of is it anxiety about new tastes and textures. I mean - this kid hasn't eaten candy in his entire life!! Could care less about ice cream or pizza! I know, I know - he sounds like an ideal 6 year old who only eats healthy stuff, but man, this is way worse than that. He accepts 6 foods and that's the 6 food choices he's been sticking to for the past 4 years. Its a constant cycle of dosa-pasta-rice-pretzels-chips-fries. So no....not healthy by any means. And his dislike of non preferred foods is so strong, that he will actually gag at us eating a meal. Its that bad! Eating at restaurants means taking his meal along with us and he's that one kid at the party that's eating his ...
1 comment
Read more